Dee Dee Second Thoughts from Zach

I’m still reasonable certain that DeeDee isn’t really a zombie.  Mostly because she doesn’t look (or smell) like a zombie and HARV isn’t worried.  I know HARV knows something he’s not telling me.  In a way I think he does this to attempt to lord over me a little.  Plus, HARV likes to see me get my adrenaline flowing.   Since he is wired to my brain I’m guessing he gets some sort of secondary high off of it.  Supposedly HARV being wired to my brain (yeah I say that a lot) creates some sort of gestalt symbiosis where we are both better for it.  I get instant access to all the information I could want, plus I get a computer enhanced senses and muscles.  HARV gets an up close and personal view into how the human brain operates.

As for the immediate threat – Dee Dee.  My instincts are still telling me she’s not a threat.  Well at least not to me.   She has great resources and I’m quite certain her body has been enhanced.  If she wanted me dead I probably would have been dead by now.  Tweet,  she took out Carol easily and Carol is no slouch.   I think it can be reasonably deduced (I like sounding like Sherlock) that Dee Dee is in need of my very special brand of assistance.  Which means once again I will have to come the rescue of a beautiful woman.  Which means for now my greatest danger will be explaining this case to my girl friend Electra.

Zach

My latest adventure....

HARV sizes up the situation

Hello Humans, HARV Here:

Once again my personal human Zach has gotten himself into another interesting mess.  I’m sure he would have been dead long ago with me (and without Carol to a lesser extent.)

You may be wondering why I am not overly concerned with DeeDee DeLights actions.  Well let me address your concerns.

First, she came to Zach for help so I am 99.171% sure she will not kill him.  It’s hard to help when you are dead.

Second, while the DeLight’s net worth being over 500 billion credits (richer than most proveniences) means they have access to extremely good data protection and firewalls; I do have easy access to my creator the esteemed Doctor Randy Pool’s files.  I therefore know what “projects” he has sold to the DeLights therefore I can further deduce what DeeDee means when she says she is a “zombie”. 

Third, I do have access to DeeDee’s public escapades throughout the years.  Let’s put it this way, DeeDee is a rich drama queen. 

In conclusion I am sure plenty of bots, androids and organic beings will try to kill Zach.  Just DeeDee isn’t one of them.  Well, most likely isn’t one of them – at least not yet.

HARV

Zach's latest adventure

My Initial Thoughts on DeeDee

Hey all:

My initial thoughts on my new possible client Dee Dee Delight.  She is truly ultra mega crazo.  Though I'm sure HARV would point out that since she is the top .0001% of wealth in the world she's eccentric not crazo.  Oh, take into account that my initial thoughts are bias and not all that accurate, still they form a good starting off point.

It's easy to see she well built and stunning looking.  Sure I should be wondering why she's here and why a woman of such means needs me.  Plus her whole spiel about being dead.  Thing is for now I can't help wondering what's the DOS is up with her butt that seems to have a mind (or two minds) of its own.   My guess is this is because of a woman from the early turn of the century.  This woman, named Kim basically became wealthy because, well, she had a big butt.  Once butt enhancement technology became available it became fashionable for those of wealth to increase the girth of their backsides.  From what I understand they use nano bots I guess that would make them nano butts.  These butt bots can multiply or disperse depending on the subject's mood.  Yeah I think it's kind of crazy but I've never been quick to understand fashion or science.

But enough about butts...  Next time I'll be concentrating on the case.  Do I think she's really a zombie?  Nah, but I'm certainly interested in finding out why she thinks she's one....

Zachary N Johnson (the world's last freelance PI)

My current adventure.....

All in Days Work...

Okay, now that Dee Dee Delight has teleported into my life things are bound to get interesting.  After all, any woman who is rich as she is, as well built as she is and can take out Carol so easily isn’t a woman to be trifled with.  Speaking of taking out Carol you may be thinking that I reacted a bit casually when Dee Dee put her to sleep.  Well I did.  First off, you never let either a potential client and or opponent see you panic.  It’s bad for business.  Second off, I have seen nerve pinches enough to know Carol was only “resting”.    So I couldn’t get too upset.   Dee Dee is rich and powerful, use to getting her own way.  I can roll with that.  The bottom line is when you are me (The world's last freelance PI) and the universe is using you as its personal whipping boy a nerve pinch is seen a relaxing aside.  

Zach....

My latest adventure....

Carol Chimes In

Hi all:

I don’t believe I’m doing something as old fashioned as a blog – a word blog no less.  But Zach thinks it might be good for me to express my thoughts on e-paper to help the world get to know me.

As you probably know I am a psi.   It runs in my family.  My mom and sisters are also psis.  My mom Leah is way powerful psi.  You’ve probably seen her reality HV broadcast Leah Makes You Cluck.   On that show she walks the streets of New New York making people do whatever she pleases.  How powerful am I?  I don’t really keep track of the rating system.  I just know if I’m in the right mood and I told you to cluck you would until I told you to stop.  I also melted an ex’s car once.  Trust me he’s lucky it was just the car.

What’s it like being a psi?  I have to admit it has it’s advantages and it can be fun.  Yet it can also be  frustrating.  Once people learn I’m a psi they treat me different.  Some are scared of me.  Others look at me like I should be in a freak show.  Others think I should be locked up or at the very least kept under watch.  We psis may be powerful but we’re outnumbered 10 million to 1 one on Earth.   We need to tread lightly stay in background as much as possible.

What’s it like working for Zach?  He’s stubborn and can be a bit dense at times.  But you know these “traits” are part of what makes Zach so good at what he does.  He’s also been dealing with psis a long time so he treats us like people, not monsters or worst yet tools.  Plus working with him lets me save the world now and then.  That is pretty mega sub zero.

Carol

Zach's latest adventure

"Deep" Zach "Thoughts"

Okay, I’m only going to admit this because it’s cathartic and I don’t think anybody is actually going to read this blog.  But here it goes, sometimes I don’t think I’m good enough. Yeah on the outside I am confident and cocky.  Yeah I know I’ve saved the world on more than one occasion.  But here’s the kicker, the knee to the groin, I didn’t do any of this until I had a super computer (and that’s putting it mildly) wired to my cerebral cortex.  Deep down I know I’m a pretty accomplished guy, almost got a Ph.D, almost graduated from police academy, almost got a black belt.  Even before HARV was hooked into my brain I had some nice successes of note.  I exposed the cat eating fad “the other other white meat” as a sly marketing campaign from a pet company that accidently cloned too many cats.  I busted Time Express for showing their “we get it there yesterday,”  was a scam, they just hired psi’s to convince you they delivered it yesterday.  Thing was I was mostly famous for just being the last licensed private investigator.   I was more of an oddity, a man with an affinity for things from before the turn of the century doing an outdated job.

-Zach

My current adventure 

Thoughts from HARV -- giving Zach's brain a rest.

Hi Humans:

Humans called me HARV.  Which stands for Highly Aware and Really Verbal.  I am the most advanced thought processing machine in existence.  And that’s counting humans.  I have instant access to all but the most secure data in the world.  And give me enough time I can even get to that.  My creator the esteemed Doctor Randy Pool and his backers originally meant for me to be the ultimate spy machine.  But really where’s the fun in that?  They made my bits a bit too well.  I decided I didn’t want to spy on anybody.  I just wanted to observe and help where I could.  My creator the esteemed Doctor Pool thought I could benefit greatly from interfacing with Zachary Johnson’s brain.  I agreed.  

Zach's Adventures are here....